Page 102 - Choosing a Child Care Center

LETY CARVAJAL, M.ED.

Don’t engage/set personal boundaries—we can
prevent most power struggles just by being aware of
our urges to control everything in our children’s lives,
and when they pop up, just don’t engage. If your
daughter wants to wear fairy wings to school on
“picture day” and you think it’s ridiculous, that’s OK.
You don’t have to constantly bark orders or meet
her every request with, “No, you can’t!” Pick your
boundaries! Boundaries are simple statements of
what you will and will not do or what you will allow
them to do to you. Consider saying, “I’m sorry, I’m
not willing to argue about this. I love you.” Be firm
and state it only once. It takes the wind right out of
their sails when there’s no one to argue with.
Choices—whenever possible offer your children
“either/or” choices so they feel like they are sharing
the power. “Would you like to wear your red shirt
today or your blue one?” Both choices should be
options that you are completely happy with.
2–During the Conflict (When Your Child
Challenges Boundaries or Behaviors)
Respond firmly but with empathy and respect—
it’s always a good idea to respond with respect and
kindness. Even when your child continues to chal-
lenge something you have set a firm boundary on, you
can be sympathetic to their desires or point of view
and still stand firm.

90