Page 101 - Choosing a Child Care Center

ELIMINATING POWER STRUGGLES

hildren learn early on how to manipulate others
C to get what they want. They may not be able to
reason it out logically or cognitively, but they seem to
learn quickly that certain behaviors will get certain
results.
Because parents naturally have the power in the
relationship, when that balance is challenged, it
becomes a “struggle” for power. Our children want it,
and as parents, we want to retain it. The thing is,
power struggles are not a childhood behavior prob-
lem; power struggles are a relational cycle.
3 Steps to Establish Healthy Cycles of Power

1–Before the Struggle Begins
Teach during the good times—read books togeth-
er, role play, or reenact an actual past incident when
you are not in the middle of resistance or a conflict.
Try to problem solve together with non-threatening
language like, “I’ve noticed we’ve had some issues
with what you’d like to wear to school. What are some
things you think we could do to make that go smooth-
er?”

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